Women Don't Need Advice

If I had known this a long time ago, I'd be so much more successful with women. Sadly, it's taken me this long to learn. This is the kind of advice I'll give my son once he turns fourteen. Had I known this years ago, my sex life would be much more active:).


Once again, I'm shamelessly quoting an article. This one is titled: HOWTO Listen To Women.

Let’s begin with an illustration. What would you say?


She: “My landlord is a jerk. When I ask him to fix things, he’s always late and grouchy about it. He always brings up the time that I was two weeks late paying…”


You (reasonable but stupid): “Yeah, landlords are all that way. You just have to put up with it.”


Do not give advice.


You (stupider): “You should get a new apartment.”


Do not solve the problem.


You (stupidest): “Why didn’t you pay him?”


Do not criticize.


This is where the secret begins. Most men would have given one of the stupid answers. They seem perfectly reasonable from their point of view.


When a woman lets you in on a problem this way, the words she uses do not mean what you think they mean. Often a woman will frame a question or statement in a way that clearly begs advice or a solution. That’s just how you heard it. Remember this, she’s not stupid. She knows the answer already. There is something about the wiring in women that requires a kind of periodic verbal maintenance. She sounds like she wants advice, but really she’s going into this maintenance mode. Learn to follow the protocol.

I once went out with a girl who I'll call Cruella Deville, for the sake of anonymity. Whenever she'd have a problem she'd tell me. I'd then go about trying to figure out possible solitutions and discussing them with her. I wanted to contribute positively and make her happy. This turned out to be a BIG MISTAKE!!!. She'd always get angry especially because I was younger than her. It seems old[er] women don't like advice from younger men.


We would then end up fighting. In order to hurt me she'd then go about telling me how her previous boyfriend was so wonderful, tall, brown, handsome, successful and with a twelve inch....Like a good child who gets a beating for making noise while adults are around, I quickly learnt my lesson. I learned to shut up. The irony was that the fights got worse. I couldn't understand it. In the short term she'd be happy that I was a dumb mute. But in the long term, she'd bitch and moan, rant and rave about me never telling her what I was thinking.


Women are too complex and I'm too stupid:)