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Women and Men are equal but not the same

When men saw women come back from beijing all feisty and rejuvenated... they panicked.
What to do?
Now women have become men so...
But as both sexes learn to respect each other and find and agreeable median to operate in, there some truths even liberty itself cannot change.
I am readging " Men are from Mars - Women are from Venus" - John Gray, and women are truly different from men.
And I was very happy reading masterpiece until... I got the point that goes against everything that makes the difference between success and failure(maybe from a man's world only!)
Positive thinking. Neurolingusitic programming.
Focus on solutions. Positivity tells us let's not bitch about problems, lets focus on solutions and the way ahead.
Apparently this is the wrong approach? Funny.
When a woman talks about a problem I am told that she knows the solution, so she just wants to talk about the problem and feed on the negative impulses emicted from such discussions.
What if she does not know the solution? or if her solution is fucked? do we as the loving men we are...let her stumble?

Comments

Nicholas Ochiel said…
Lui, I've read the book you refer to but there are a number of things (obviously) that I completely disagree with. (probably why my Love life is in so much chaos: perhaps I simply can't accept how different women are..:-)

I won't discuss my arguments now. I'll instead focus on your brilliant point. When women discuss problems, they are not interested in the solution but in discussing the problem.

This, in itself is not a bad thing. Personally, feeding off negative emotions does nothing to empower me and I hate everything that does not empower me.

But perhaps it's me who's got it wrong. Lesaan once made mention that she likes to feed off such negative emotions. Perhaps she does it for self healing or self examination?

I believe it goes much deeper than superficial obligatory psycho-emotional masturbation. I think that, when a woman does this weird ritual of wading in a self induced fog of depression, she is actually doing something valuable: She is examining the problem from a different perspective.

I believe that that whole process of examination is related to why a woman must always ask all her girlfriends what to do when having problems with her boyfriend. She's looking for perspective.

Men on the other hand are different. We plough ahead and keep reading the map upside down. Through that painful process we develop facilities that allow us to read upside down! This continual "going-against-the-grain" eventually wears us down.

Women's approach has the simultaneous advantage and disadvantage of needing a support network. A crappy support network (useless girlfriends) will cripple her. A solid one will benefit her far more than an independent man could ever benefit himself.

There's another important benefit in thinking about a problem without looking for a solution. A beautiful analogy is this: Picasso wasn't trying to paint best selling paintings. He was trying to paint the most beautiful paintings. As a side effect, his paintings were the best selling.

Proof positive of this is that women live longer and are becoming more successful than men going forward
Cosmic Leap said…
Okay Lesaan we will cry together and risk you going to a bad mechanic.

Someone saw me reading "men are from mars..." and she was like "it is so unnecessary, all these things you learn from biology lesson in school, if you paid attention you should have known about girls' moods and behaviour patterns" - okay I must have been paying little attention in school.

Plus she also said that it is boring when I use an over rated text based on somebody's personal opinion as my life's guide, that things should be spotaneous and not be dished out like a set of prescribed tablets - dunno... Personally I either did not know these things or I did not take them seriously.
Cosmic Leap said…
Lesaan, yes true. I will listen. True, you deserve to be given all ears and patience to express yourself to satisfaction.

The mechanic does not matter now, let's first get in terms with what happened and get shocked at how unruly drivers have become.

It is the bigger picture Lesaan and I now can see it. You see when men look into just jumping into solutions when dealing with women then they are not really fixing anything. I could only listened and empathized about Boris and the mad man who rammed into your car, that will fix something, that's a bigger solution then running at the mouth. I can teach myself that.

Nonetheless, I hope you will be kind enough to tell me when you don't need answers, and to understand when I give them.
Cosmic Leap said…
hehehe that's off the hook Wambz! Okay.
What if KN said, I got an extra mboch at my place, cheap and dying for some heavy duty work, obedient and god-fearing, want her?

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