Not On My Ass

Today I read a post that simply brought tears to my eyes. In it, the author describes his wonderful wife and how their honeymoon is in its seventeeth year . The reason tears clouded my eyes is because I'm a romantic at heart. It sounds strange for me to say that. All the contributors to this blog are workaholics and to us (with the possible exception of CosmicLeap), "ro-mantic" sounds like a type of new fangled cement mixer. Why then, did this post rip something within me apart? While I was reading it, I was also listening to Ne-yo's new album , In My Own Words . The track " So Sick " began to play. This track is about heartbreak . The lyrics are evocative and heart rending. In it, he sings my life with his words: Gotta change my answering machine Now that I'm alone Cuz right now it says that we Can't come to the phone And I know it makes no sense Cuz you walked out the door But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore (it's r...

If I had known this a long time ago, I'd be so much more successful with women. Sadly, it's taken me this long to learn. This is the kind of advice I'll give my son once he turns fourteen. Had I known this years ago, my sex life would be much more active:). Once again, I'm shamelessly quoting an article. This one is titled: HOWTO Listen To Women . Let’s begin with an illustration. What would you say? She: “My landlord is a jerk. When I ask him to fix things, he’s always late and grouchy about it. He always brings up the time that I was two weeks late paying…” You (reasonable but stupid): “Yeah, landlords are all that way. You just have to put up with it.” Do not give advice. You (stupider): “You should get a new apartment.” Do not solve the problem. You (stupidest): “Why didn’t you pay him?” Do not criticize. This is where the secret begins. Most men would have given one of the stupid answers. They seem perfectly reasonable from their point of view. When a woma...

Long after a relationship ends , I often find that I live in a dream world. I withdraw into my safe shell , avoid going clubbing, avoid dating, socialising or doing anything that might accidentally result in me meeting my ex. Even though I've more or less convinced myself that I've moved on, time always proves that I'm a fickle overemotional bastard... So let me tell you about a recent weekend... I decided to go out after a long period of staying away from public life . I'd been silent for long enough and like a new born calf, I wanted to test my unsteady, shaky legs in the normal world. So on the weekend in question, I stepped out of my cave, shivering and shaking wondering what the night had in store. I was actually intent on getting a pretty young thing to take home and wear out with all my pent up sexual energy. My wingmen (the dudes who fly with me into "dangerous situations" with a view to taking down as many birds as possible) and I hi...

There are two types of people: those that talk the talk and those that walk the walk. People who walk the walk sometimes talk the talk but most times they don't talk at all, 'cause they walkin'. Now, people who talk the talk, when it comes time for them to walk the walk, you know what they do? They talk people like me into walkin' for them. - Key ( Anthony Anderson in Hustle & Flow )

Ah.. the good old days... do you guys remember the innocent games you played when you were young? Those games seemed so innocent but in hindsight they seem torrid. Like this game I'm sure we all played called sandwhich :) Sandwich involved laying a broad, flat couch pillow down on the floor. This was the bread. Then Lori would pull her pants down around her ankles and lie face down on the pillow. Next, the precocious mastermind three-year-old Dowbrigade would pull down HIS pants and lie down on top of Lori. This accomplished, young Karen would pull down HER pants and get on top of the Dowbrigade. Finally, somehow (for there was no one else to help) we got another of the big, flat pillows and maneuvered it onto the very top of the pile. This was the finished sandwich. Once the sandwich was assembled, the fun would begin. The object, as we seem to remember, was to sway gently and slightly back and forth, gradually increasing the swings in amplitude and speed, balancing more and m...

We are one year old now!!! yeepiee!! teething almost crawling it has been one year since the first post(dated 02/02/2005) Thanks everyone All those lovely(and unlovely!) comments! Let's throw the papers in the air in celebration!

Suddenly I am balding and my hair's whitening I am wrinkling and gaining fat in odd places becoming saggy and my stomach's distending Years have flown by... I squint your eyes trying to see through the thick lens looking through the window at the trees swaying from side to side in a distance dancing to the unsteady beat of the wind I am healthy and for my age, I am looking great. But time ticks buy, ever so dutifully So in my mind, death lingers on like a dark shadow following me and my thoughts... the reality of mortality stairs back at me blankly... In my old mind... I try to think about what really matters to me What is important Money? Spouse(s)? Love(s)? Child(ren)? Former Boss? Bully back in Primary School? Piece of land? Phd? God(s) and my relation with him(them)? If any. Friend(s)? Foe(s)? My vehicle(s)? Achievement(s)? What I did and didn't do? Everything seems to fall in place It is now very lucid I now know... What really mattered And I am not sure whether I am...

I thought it will be mean of me not to share this very interesting piece. How Do My Genitals Look Today?

Well I was happy to see Yoda's posts, especially since it makes it perfectly clear: What beauty really is. Even XXL knows this. Now. I have nothing but mad respect for the legendary film director - Peter Jackson - The Director of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and of Best selling novel of 2004 Lovely Bones (out 2007) But... King Kong just did not rub me in the right way and I thought I was alone until I stumbled upon Sheryl McCarthy's 'Blonde is beautiful' mystique I must admit I could not agree more! I find this: some what absurd. Let's zoom in: This is rather absurd. I mean surely, Kong should have had better taste. Okay. Naomi Watts is talented and she looks pretty but I mean the figure! Really. Below is her full length picture. I know what you are thinking and I agree. They would have at least put on a sexy bodied lady! Like Jessica alba say. But the connotations of racisms in the movie were truly more on the Skull Island dwellers, they were so black I coul...

The ladies above may look familiar to those of us who watch a truck load of music videos. To everyone else, they just look like another pair of models. The ladies above are Ki-Toy Johnson (left) and Buffie the Body . This picture reminded me of a story I was told by a friend of mine who's been living in the United States for some time now. She tells me that she earns $2000 per night for dancing topless !. A quick calculation shows that $2, 000 is approximately half the monthly salary at my previous job and roughly a quarter to a fifth of the salary of the other contributors to this blog! Even more amazing is that Buffie the Body , who is a top ranked celebrity stripper is rumoured to earn ten times that amount: anywhere between $20,000 to $50, 000 and even as high as $100, 000 for a night of her strip tease performance! I'll pause for a moment to let those figures (the money, not their bodies:) sink in. I decided to do a bit of checking on the extreme end of the adult en...

In the last post on why men dog , my good friend distilled the theory of man (as distinct from woman ) into one simple concept: sex! I was shocked when one of the commenters, who I believe is a man, argued against the thrust of the post. Afterwards it hit me: Some men have been convinced that they are complex creatures. For ages women have tried to get us in touch with our sensitive side , to the point where we've actually began to believe them and the media. Then, in an amazing example of synchronicity I came along a post on radical simplicity . I've shamelessly quoted the whole post below. Women, please listen: We men are hopelessly simple. We are not as complex or hard to please as you are. It's all black and white (mostly white:))with us: Couple of nights ago, I caught the notorious comedian Dave Chapelle delivering his stand up routine in which he spoke passionately and convincingly about the need for radical simplicity. While talking about how most w...

This picture is worth a thousand words....my dream woman is a true book slut.

After doing some extensive research I discovered that there is only one reason why men cheat on their lovely women. The mama watotos. Sex. Many people will come up with many physchological studies and all these hypotheses. 1. Boredom 2. There more women than men!!! 3. Ego 4. She cheated on you(revenge) 5. Lack of Variety 6. The Love has died... But all these are just cover ups to the real reason. Which is. The man is not getting enough sex to keep him faithful. To keep him sane! When a woman assumes her position in a man's life. Her fulfilment is: + Having him come home and look into her eyes. + Having the man repair the broken down sink. + Opening for her doors + Appreciating her efforts. + Commending her making her hair in a particular way. + Listening to her bitch about her friends, workmates and life. This is sex to a woman. So once she has established herself and is getting all these things(plus others I may have not included) the woman is complete. Sex is work. Plus she...

Ladies, have you ever fallen out of love with a man? What causes it? How does it happen?

Ok.. I know guys are really anti McDonald's these days, but this is absurd!!! I personally understand the negative sentiment against McDonalds. However, I do not agree with it totally. McDonald's has been instrumental in teaching the world about entrepreneurship and franchise marketting. I'm a big fan of Ray Kroc (the man who started it all!)... So enamoured was I that I posted a review of his autobiography here . It's a truly inspiring story with crucial lessons for all of us who are venturing into our own enterprise. In summary.. McDonald's R00lz!!!

This has to be the craziest mashup I've ever seen. It makes use of some storm troopers and the famous star wars character: Yoda (which also happens to be my pen name). Check it out. It really kicks ass... Here's the link

This is just absolutely funny. I guess it will make more sense to those of us who study technology architecture.... Still, it will provide a laugh all around. Without further ado, here's the link . What cracked me up is the dating patterns relationship diagram :

Where's the best place to have sex? either from imagination, experience or just critical thought - in the bedroom with the curtains drawn door locked lights off inside the covers clothed everywhere except the gonads, or when riding roller coaster, in the grave yard at night using the tombstone as the bed post and using UV light in that darkness (you know!! achi achi!) or in the streets at night in a phone booth in say Kenyatta Avenue...

If you were asked to describe yourself using 2 words, which 2 words would you use? After musing about it for 10, 30, 60..mins, the exercise asked that you take 10mins, the 2 words I came up with were 'Independent' and 'Carefree'. Carefree, Ambitious, Cold, Seductive..the 2nd word kept changing..can't be sure ..but 'Independent' for sure! I flirtered with putting down my own 2 words, that describe each of you - as you appear to me, then I rethought, nah! What about it guys, which 2 words?

This has to be the best movie this year. This is a movie so loaded with emotion that tears still cloud my eyes as I write this. The story is about a couple, Noah and Allison, who, as teenagers, discover first love. Their love for each other is breathtaking and it spans the entire breadth, depth and height of their lives. The story is so well told that I wouldn't attempt to ruin the movie by giving my interpretation of it here. This movie is about true love . A love that fills one so completely as to give life new meaning, purpose and fulfillment. This movie will inspire those who have become jaded with love. In a world where heartbreak is the norm and our lives are dominated by a perpetual emptiness punctuated by short meaningless trists with people we hope are our soul mates. In such a world, it's hard to believe that anyone can find true love. It's hard to imagine that we can actually marry someone who we never tire of. Seeing someone every morning three hundr...